2006-02-22 chat with HP tech support

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This is a transcript of my online converation with tech support at Hewlett-Packard when I finally realized that my new scanner, after working initially, had mysteriously bit the dust and needed to be returned as defective.

Interestingly, it was explicitly indicated that the chat app was not Mac-compatible, and yet it worked fine on Linux/Firefox, after a somewhat shaky start where it first did let me type stuff and then suddenly wouldn't when the tech started

I've changed my name to just "me" for this posting, because I get annoyed seeing my first and last names repeated over and over again in a chat situation like this.


Sylvia: Welcome to HP Total Care for Photosmart products.
Sylvia: How may I assist you today with your HP Scanjet 4370 Photo Scanner?
(me): I don't think this scanner is behaving right.
(me): I'm trying to do a self-test...
(me): ...but the instructions on the hp web site aren't clear about what the scanner should be doing.
(me): I unplug the usb and power cables.
(me): then I hold down the "scan" and "scan film" buttons and reconnect the power...
(me): ...and I release the buttons as soon as I hear the scanner start to do something.
Sylvia: I will provide you with the complete steps to perform a self-test and the results expected from the self-test.
(me): ok
Sylvia: Yes, when there is activity from the scanner, lift the lid and you should be able to see the scanner carriage move back and forth and the lamp glowing.
(me): Ahh. Lamp glowing, but nothing moving.
(me): I hear the motor whirring, but the scan head is motionless.
(me): It's still going, several minutes later.
(me): (going = making a noise, not moving)
(me): So, is this unit defective?
Sylvia: Yes, if the scanner carriage is not moving the issue can be with the hardware malfunction of the scanner.
Sylvia: Can you tell me the purchase date of the scanner?
(me): Yes, one moment...
(me): 2/13/06
Sylvia: Have you purchased the scanner online or from the stores?
(me): Purchased from Newegg, but they say they don't handle RMA for it.
(me): (online)
Sylvia: Okay.
Sylvia: I will replace the scanner for you.
(me): Great :-)
Sylvia: Please provide the following information:
Sylvia: * Full Name:</nowiki>
  • Physical Address (no P.O. Box numbers):
  • City, State, Zip Code:
  • Telephone Number (including Area Code):
  • E-mail Address:
  • Time Zone (Eastern/Pacific/Central/Mountain):
  • Model Number:
  • Serial number:
  • Date of purchase:
(me): contact info not included in this post
(me): time zone: EST
(me): model: HP Scanjet 4370
(me): serial #: CN58RA20QC
(me): (if the white barcode label is the serial number)
(me): date of purchase: Feb. 13, 2006
(me): Anything else?
Sylvia: As the scanner is a collateral item, that is, you would be required to ship the defective scanner on receipt of the replacement. Therefore, you would be required to provide us the credit card information as security. To dispatch a collateral part/unit to you we would require your credit card details. Please provide us with the convenient date (2 dates) and time to call you for taking the credit card information.
  • Dates and Business Days (2 days):
  • Time to call:
  • Telephone Number to call:
(me): dates: today or tomorrow

time: 4pm - 7:30 pm

(me): phone number: not included in this post
Sylvia: Thank you for the information provided.
Sylvia: With the above mentioned information, I will be able to replace the scanner for you.
Sylvia: Is there anything else I can assist you with?
(me): Let's see... I guess the replacement scanner will come with shipping instructions for the dead one?
(me): And... when should I expect the replacement to arrive?
Sylvia: You should be getting the replacement scanner within 5-7 days and you will be getting a return shipping label along with the replacement scanner. You can attach this sticker to the defective scanner and then send it to us.
(me): ok
(me): I guess that's everything, then. Thanks!
(me): and bye...
Sylvia: Bye Nick. Have a nice time!

I received the last line after I had pressed the "disconnect" button, so apparently that doesn't actually disconnect you; maybe it just lets them know that you believe you're done.