Server created: 4GB- 2CPU - 80GB - $20/mo, Ubuntu 16.04, SFO2, IPv6, Gonzo key.
Using the official instructions from the start this time, but using Ruby 2.5.0 instead of 2.4.1. Skipping the server-creation and DNS bits because I do those without thinking. (Also, can't point the real domain here until later.)
These instructions assume you're running as root, which works for me.
cd setup- because I like to keep setup clutter in a separate folder
apt -y install curl- was already the latest version
curl -sS https://dl.yarnpkg.com/debian/pubkey.gpg | apt-key add -
echo "deb https://dl.yarnpkg.com/debian/ stable main" | tee /etc/apt/sources.list.d/yarn.list
apt -y install imagemagick ffmpeg libpq-dev libxml2-dev libxslt1-dev file git g++ libprotobuf-dev protobuf-compiler pkg-config nodejs gcc autoconf bison build-essential libssl-dev libyaml-dev libreadline6-dev zlib1g-dev libncurses5-dev libffi-dev libgdbm3 libgdbm-dev nginx redis-server redis-tools postgresql postgresql-contrib nginx letsencrypt yarn
At this point (morning of 4/11), I turned the problem over to Lottie...